funny email I got...for new dads.
ARMPIT BOMBS
Being able to make a farting or bombing sound is very important to boys, and maybe even for girls in this now liberated world! When the time comes and you're called to make this sound, if you cannot, you are ruined.
I'll assume you already know how to make the sound knows as a “Bronx cheer” or “raspberry,” where you stick out your tongue, put your lips firmly around it and blow. Pwpwpwpwpw! (It works even better if you put your thumb on your nose and waggle your fingers back and forth while you do this.)
However, you may not be aware of other, more impressive ways to make this sound.
ADVANCED
- You will need a drinking straw, preferably one with a bendy part in it.- Turn your head toward the armpit you are going to use.
- Put one end of the straw about halfway into the middle of your armpit, and the other end into your mouth. - Push your arm down, lightly squishing the straw’s end.
- Now blow into the straw.
- You will quickly notice that changes in location and pressure alter the tone of your “Pwpwpwpwpw!” sound. Where the straw is, how tight your armpit is and how hard you blow will all change the sound you get. If you practice, you may be able to even play songs!SUPER ADVANCED:
- For experts only, The Armpit Bagpipes!- Use the straw method described above, but instead of one straw, use two or three!
- Even tougher (but great sounding!) is putting two or more straws in BOTH armpits at the same time and then blowing them!
DANGER
- Make sure you only blow THROUGH the straw.
- Do not breathe IN through the straw, thus breathing in your own armpit air which can be deadly.
- Do not switch the ends of the straw around, as that would be gross.
- And never trade straws with anyone else!“Pwpwpwpwpw!”
Being able to make a farting or bombing sound is very important to boys, and maybe even for girls in this now liberated world! When the time comes and you're called to make this sound, if you cannot, you are ruined.
I'll assume you already know how to make the sound knows as a “Bronx cheer” or “raspberry,” where you stick out your tongue, put your lips firmly around it and blow. Pwpwpwpwpw! (It works even better if you put your thumb on your nose and waggle your fingers back and forth while you do this.)
However, you may not be aware of other, more impressive ways to make this sound.
ADVANCED
- You will need a drinking straw, preferably one with a bendy part in it.- Turn your head toward the armpit you are going to use.
- Put one end of the straw about halfway into the middle of your armpit, and the other end into your mouth. - Push your arm down, lightly squishing the straw’s end.
- Now blow into the straw.
- You will quickly notice that changes in location and pressure alter the tone of your “Pwpwpwpwpw!” sound. Where the straw is, how tight your armpit is and how hard you blow will all change the sound you get. If you practice, you may be able to even play songs!SUPER ADVANCED:
- For experts only, The Armpit Bagpipes!- Use the straw method described above, but instead of one straw, use two or three!
- Even tougher (but great sounding!) is putting two or more straws in BOTH armpits at the same time and then blowing them!
DANGER
- Make sure you only blow THROUGH the straw.
- Do not breathe IN through the straw, thus breathing in your own armpit air which can be deadly.
- Do not switch the ends of the straw around, as that would be gross.
- And never trade straws with anyone else!“Pwpwpwpwpw!”
posted by brian at
8:34 AM
|
0 comments
