My Star Wars Review
For a special treat for those who regularly read my blog, and since I haven't posted anything in a while... Here's my review of Episode 3, before it officially hits the press.
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Millions of geeks, nerds and dweebs across the nation can finally go out and meet actual girls. “Revenge of the Sith” has arrived and now they can get out of those long lines in front of movie theatres. Chat rooms and blogs will go silent as they see “Sith” over and over. And then, after viewing it a couple of dozen times, venture back into the sunlight and face the dreary disaster that is their lives working in the computer service department at Best Buy.
Allow me to clarify. I’m a bit of a geek too. I’m dorky enough to name my dog “Wookie,” stupid enough to misspell it; it’s actually spelled “Wookiee.” And I actually have a Princess Leia “Slave Girl” button at my desk. I liked the previous two installments of the “prilogy.” I realize Jar Jar is lame. I realize the acting was wooden. But you know what? As blasphemous as it sounds, there were problems with the original trilogy. Ewoks were just as lame, and Mark Hamill ain’t no Sean Connery. I wasn’t expecting a religious experience when “Phantom Menace” and “Clones” came out and enjoyed Eps. 1 and 2 for what they were; a galactic adventure filled with eye candy and light sabers.
“Revenge of the Sith” is eye-candier than ever. And I liked it.
Rather than bore you with the details, I’ll cut to the chase. We all know the story. Anakin Skywalker joins the Dark Side; an army of Jedi is wiped out, leaving only Yoda and Obi-Wan to hide the newborn twins of the soon-to-be-Vader. So let’s hit the goods and the bads of this movie.
The Good: Allow me to declare, Jar Jar Binks is seen twice in “Sith” and utters not a single word.
Visually, “Sith” is awesome to behold. Textures on ships in the opening battle scene look incredible. Backgrounds and virtual sets are perfected under Lucas’ direction. The entire thing is so sharp, and the attention to detail is leagues beyond how good “Clones” looked.
Along those lines, the light saber battles are by far the most intense and well-choreographed I’ve ever seen. Obi-Wan fights a multiple saber wielding robot; Yoda battles the Emperor; and the battle we’ve all been waiting for, Obi-Wan versus Anakin does not disappoint. We’ve always wondered what Obi-Wan did to put Anakin in that Vader suit. Now we know, and the only way I can describe it is that Obi-Wan messes Ani up something “hardcore.”
Perhaps the most moving was the destruction of the Jedi Order. In just a few minutes, the Jedi are wiped out in cold blood, and it actually almost made me tear up.
Such an emotional moment is balanced by…
The Bad: The acting between Christensen and Portman is better in the sense that Lucas wrote more realistic dialogue. Unfortunately, the two just seem like they’re a pair of community theatre actors in a bad version of “Guys and Dolls,” which is a shame, because Portman has proven herself to be a decent young actress.
Samuel L. Jackson, “Mace Windu” is disappointing as well. We know Jackson is capable of being a good actor, but all Jackson was concerned with in making “Sith” is that he “didn’t go out like a sucka.” Purple light saber and all, good ole’ Mace puts up a good fight, but still makes me wish for the ultimate space pimp, Lando Calrissian.
While the CGI characters look great, Yoda looked odd to me for some reason. I can’t really put my finger on it, but he just looks “less real” in a handful of scenes. And as cute as it is, the Yoda-talk is a bit overdone in this one.
I’m sure there are a few plot holes I missed, but there is one very noticeable one. In “Jedi” Leia tells Luke what she remembers about her birth mother, something to the effect of her being “very sad.” Leia must have excellent memory, considering she was only minutes old when Padme’ dies.
Most disappointing in the film however is the lack of Wookiees. Previews had me dreaming of a battle on the Wookiee planet, a la Endor in “Jedi.” But alas, there is a surprising lack of Wookiees in “Sith” and the anticipated return of Chewbacca is nothing more than a few cameo shots, and a brief encounter with Yoda.
Overall, “Sith” provides what I think most people looked for. We see how and why Anakin crosses over to the Dark Side, how the Emperor gains control of the Federation of Planets and turns it into the evil Empire. It was interesting to see how willingly the Senators blindly followed Supreme Chancellor Palpatine (McDiarmid) into years of tyranny at the hands of the Empire. There are a few slow moments, but when the “stuff” hits the fan, all hell breaks loose.
Seeing that big black mask and hearing James Earl Jones was worth the wait. While “Empire” was never my favorite of the original trilogy, “Sith” darkly shines as the precursor to “A New Hope.” Yes, you will want to go and watch “ANH” right after seeing this one. But then again, if you’re a geek, you’ve been watching them all nonstop on your laptop while waiting in line for tickets.
Will the fans like it? You bet. The general public? I think so. Don’t go in there expecting “Citizen Kane,” and don’t be expecting a happy ending. But watching “Revenge of the Sith” really puts into perspective the three words “A New Hope.”
Four stars out of five.
Brian Boye is the film critic for The X. He’s glad this movie finally came out, because rubbing it in the face of his wife “I saw Star Wars and you didn’t” nearly cost him his marriage.
--
Millions of geeks, nerds and dweebs across the nation can finally go out and meet actual girls. “Revenge of the Sith” has arrived and now they can get out of those long lines in front of movie theatres. Chat rooms and blogs will go silent as they see “Sith” over and over. And then, after viewing it a couple of dozen times, venture back into the sunlight and face the dreary disaster that is their lives working in the computer service department at Best Buy.
Allow me to clarify. I’m a bit of a geek too. I’m dorky enough to name my dog “Wookie,” stupid enough to misspell it; it’s actually spelled “Wookiee.” And I actually have a Princess Leia “Slave Girl” button at my desk. I liked the previous two installments of the “prilogy.” I realize Jar Jar is lame. I realize the acting was wooden. But you know what? As blasphemous as it sounds, there were problems with the original trilogy. Ewoks were just as lame, and Mark Hamill ain’t no Sean Connery. I wasn’t expecting a religious experience when “Phantom Menace” and “Clones” came out and enjoyed Eps. 1 and 2 for what they were; a galactic adventure filled with eye candy and light sabers.
“Revenge of the Sith” is eye-candier than ever. And I liked it.
Rather than bore you with the details, I’ll cut to the chase. We all know the story. Anakin Skywalker joins the Dark Side; an army of Jedi is wiped out, leaving only Yoda and Obi-Wan to hide the newborn twins of the soon-to-be-Vader. So let’s hit the goods and the bads of this movie.
The Good: Allow me to declare, Jar Jar Binks is seen twice in “Sith” and utters not a single word.
Visually, “Sith” is awesome to behold. Textures on ships in the opening battle scene look incredible. Backgrounds and virtual sets are perfected under Lucas’ direction. The entire thing is so sharp, and the attention to detail is leagues beyond how good “Clones” looked.
Along those lines, the light saber battles are by far the most intense and well-choreographed I’ve ever seen. Obi-Wan fights a multiple saber wielding robot; Yoda battles the Emperor; and the battle we’ve all been waiting for, Obi-Wan versus Anakin does not disappoint. We’ve always wondered what Obi-Wan did to put Anakin in that Vader suit. Now we know, and the only way I can describe it is that Obi-Wan messes Ani up something “hardcore.”
Perhaps the most moving was the destruction of the Jedi Order. In just a few minutes, the Jedi are wiped out in cold blood, and it actually almost made me tear up.
Such an emotional moment is balanced by…
The Bad: The acting between Christensen and Portman is better in the sense that Lucas wrote more realistic dialogue. Unfortunately, the two just seem like they’re a pair of community theatre actors in a bad version of “Guys and Dolls,” which is a shame, because Portman has proven herself to be a decent young actress.
Samuel L. Jackson, “Mace Windu” is disappointing as well. We know Jackson is capable of being a good actor, but all Jackson was concerned with in making “Sith” is that he “didn’t go out like a sucka.” Purple light saber and all, good ole’ Mace puts up a good fight, but still makes me wish for the ultimate space pimp, Lando Calrissian.
While the CGI characters look great, Yoda looked odd to me for some reason. I can’t really put my finger on it, but he just looks “less real” in a handful of scenes. And as cute as it is, the Yoda-talk is a bit overdone in this one.
I’m sure there are a few plot holes I missed, but there is one very noticeable one. In “Jedi” Leia tells Luke what she remembers about her birth mother, something to the effect of her being “very sad.” Leia must have excellent memory, considering she was only minutes old when Padme’ dies.
Most disappointing in the film however is the lack of Wookiees. Previews had me dreaming of a battle on the Wookiee planet, a la Endor in “Jedi.” But alas, there is a surprising lack of Wookiees in “Sith” and the anticipated return of Chewbacca is nothing more than a few cameo shots, and a brief encounter with Yoda.
Overall, “Sith” provides what I think most people looked for. We see how and why Anakin crosses over to the Dark Side, how the Emperor gains control of the Federation of Planets and turns it into the evil Empire. It was interesting to see how willingly the Senators blindly followed Supreme Chancellor Palpatine (McDiarmid) into years of tyranny at the hands of the Empire. There are a few slow moments, but when the “stuff” hits the fan, all hell breaks loose.
Seeing that big black mask and hearing James Earl Jones was worth the wait. While “Empire” was never my favorite of the original trilogy, “Sith” darkly shines as the precursor to “A New Hope.” Yes, you will want to go and watch “ANH” right after seeing this one. But then again, if you’re a geek, you’ve been watching them all nonstop on your laptop while waiting in line for tickets.
Will the fans like it? You bet. The general public? I think so. Don’t go in there expecting “Citizen Kane,” and don’t be expecting a happy ending. But watching “Revenge of the Sith” really puts into perspective the three words “A New Hope.”
Four stars out of five.
Brian Boye is the film critic for The X. He’s glad this movie finally came out, because rubbing it in the face of his wife “I saw Star Wars and you didn’t” nearly cost him his marriage.
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