She's officially 5 and starting Kindergarden. He's a lover and a fighter.

Monday, March 07, 2005

How is this thing Portable? (The mobile Baby-Prison)

Border is up in the baby room. Went pretty easy. Pictures later.



HOWEVER:
we opened up the Pack 'N Play. OK, the dang thing must weigh a good 40 pounds! (Website says 18 pounds. Bah!) Sure, it's got that handy little duffle bag to carry everything in, but I'm sure at some point I'll be carrying the PNP in one hand, Riley in the other, and that handle is going to rip off, and I'm going to drop my daughter so that I don't scuff up my $90 Pack 'N Play.

AND ANOTHER THING!
As a child, I had Transformers. Those things were like Square Pegs and Square Holes compared to assembling these things. The mattress folds 8 different ways, the changing table has to be set on just right, otherwise it's not secure, there's some random board you have to slide in somewhere, and you can't jam the little velcro strap through the hole unless you have teeny-tiny pencil-thin fingers.

AND IF YOU MANAGE TO GET THE DAMN THING ASSEMBLED!
Good luck getting it all back in the little rectangular case. Sure, you can get most of it back in there. But the little Lights and Song thing... and the Mobile? Forget it. Those stay at home. There's no way you can get everything back in place. Sorry baby. Hope you're not used to those 3 bears circling over your head, cause Daddy can't figure out where to jam the freaking thing.

AND THE BATTERIES?
It takes me a good 5-10 minutes to jam 3 AA batteries in the Lights and Song thing. First I need a damn Phillips head screwdriver to get at little springy things to load them in, and then I nearly need a hammer to get the bastards to go in! Now I'm afraid that I've stripped the heads on the screw, and I'll never be able to put in fresh batteries. So not only will my baby not be able to hear the gentle wooshing sounds of nature as she drifts off to sleep, but she can't use the light to see the 3 bear mobile that I didn't pack anyhow, cause there's not enough room!

Damn you PACK 'N PLAY! Damn you straight to HELL!

2 Comments:

  • You foolish bastard! You were amazed at the ease I could set the thing up and tear it down whenever we brought our kid to visit. I'm sorry the box didn't let you know that you had to have the mechicanical appitude of a 5-year-old before you started. Move back to NE so I can teach you to do these things.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:22 PM  

  • yeah but some of us nebraskans cant even biggie size an order correctly!!!! quote the biggie nevermore

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:45 AM  

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